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A-prawn-calypse now.
As if the 2023 Burning Man Festival wasn’t apocalyptic enough, the event was recently crashed by a biblical plague of three-eyed “dinosaur shrimp,” which wriggled to the surface of the Nevada desert to join the party.
Also known as tadpole shrimp, or triops, the prehistoric critters had been lying dormant in subterranean egg cases for days.
However, the shrimp were awoken by the torrential downpours over the weekend, which turned the normally arid Black Rock Desert setting into a soggy hellscape with mud up to a foot deep.
This caused hourslong traffic jams as thousands of stranded Burning Man revelers scrambled to flee the annual bash, which runs from Aug. 27 to Sept. 4.
One man’s marsh proved another critter’s oasis: Accompanying photos show the living fossils writhing around in shallow puddles like a primordial prawn cocktail.
Triops can remain underground for years before being roused by rainwater — as was the case with the recent Burning Man glut.
Tadpole shrimps’ most notable features are their shield-like body and third eye (used to detect light changes and infrared waves), which make them seem futuristic — think the robotic scorpion used to track Neo in “The Matrix.”
However, triops are one of the oldest critters walking the earth today, having evolved when the planet was dominated by the former supercontinent Gondwana, which was formed some 550 million years ago.
This land mass now incorporates present-day South America, Africa, East Asia, Australia and Antarctica.
Naturally, the idea of hundreds of prehistoric prawns hatching amid one of the United States’ biggest bashes might sound like the plot to a bad horror movie.
But triops don’t pose any threat to humans, instead preferring to feed on plant matter, algae and even mosquito larvae (moderated populations of tadpole shrimp are used to control rice pests in Japan).
Needless to say, this veritable triop-topia proved a purgatory for the more than 70,000 attendees, who were stuck for days in the muddy desert.
One reveler, identified as 32-year-old Leon Reece, reportedly died on Friday amid the deluges.
His death appeared unrelated to the weather, but authorities said the inclement conditions delayed rescue efforts.
Doctors warned stranded festivalgoers to keep tabs on their health as stagnant water, port-a-potties and cold weather put them at risk of hypothermia, foodborne illnesses and COVID-19.
Revelers were also urged to conserve food and water amid the flooding conditions.
Burning Man attendees where finally allowed to leave Black Rock City Monday afternoon after local officials lifted a travel ban, causing an epic traffic jam on the 5-mile dirt road to the nearest highway.
By Tuesday morning, the Burning Man traffic account estimated the exodus travel time to be six hours.
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